Have you ever felt that one specific decision you made in your life was the absolute right one for you? I’m talking about the one that changes your life in a way you never thought possible. The one that led you on a path to let go of the insecure woman you didn’t want to be any longer and become an empowered, confident woman.
If your answer is yes, you’ll love my weight loss story. If you haven’t quite found the path to become an empowered, confident woman, I hope my story will inspire you to take action.
Before I dive into the details, I want to be totally transparent. I don’t always feel confident in all areas of my life. My confidence fades every now and then when I’m going through a personal or professional challenge. But I’ve found a way to bounce back quicker than when I was younger.
When I was 18 years old I met who I thought was the love of my life. I was a senior in high school weeks away from graduation when he walked into my place of work, charming and good looking. We instantly hit it off and jumped into a romantic relationship. Looking back I realize it was teenage love and not the genuine love I now feel for my husband.
Now, you may be wondering what my relationship at 18 years old has to do with my weight loss journey. This relationship traumatized me emotionally in ways that followed me into adulthood and took me a long time to recover from. I’m talking several years, many therapy sessions, and a lot of inner work. I’m grateful for all of it because it’s led me to this point in my life. Married to an amazing man that loves me, is my best friend, and treats me with respect every day. A boutique health and fitness coaching business where I have the honor and privilege of helping people improve their health and wellness. And most importantly, respect for myself as a woman and my body.
So, here’s my weight loss story that’s led me to where I am in my life right now.
My Origin Story
Frozen pizzas, canned ravioli, boxed mac-n-cheese, onion rings, tater tots, and fast food with the occasional meat and veggies were the go-to food choices when I was growing up in the 80’s and 90’s. This is when my not-so-good eating habits began and not to the fault of my parents. They were doing the best they could when low fat and easy-to-make processed foods were all the rage.
Thankfully as a kid and into my teens, I was very active. I was always riding my bike, running around with the neighborhood kids, or playing softball so I never gained weight (this would come later). In high school, I joined a women’s weight training class that changed my life. This is when my true passion for women’s health and fitness emerged.
Each year we were paired up with another woman and she was our partner for the year in class. We held each other accountable, supported each other emotionally (and sometimes literally during a back squat), and celebrated each other’s accomplishments. I learned early on that there is something unique about women bonding over health and wellness goals that I can’t quite put into words.
I experienced first-hand how powerful (pun intended!) it was to be a woman and have the ability to lift heavy things, without getting super big. My one rep max (the maximum amount a person can lift once) for squats in high school was 225 pounds. When I started training with weights, I never thought I would be lifting that much weight. This was definitely a confidence booster for me.
The Relationship that Almost Broke Me
Remember the romantic relationship I mentioned at the beginning? This was when it started to really fall apart for me.
A year into dating at the very young age of 19, we decided it would be a good idea to get married, so we got engaged. Shortly after getting engaged, my anxiety started to going up and I felt like something wasn’t right. I ignored these signs for a few reasons. I don’t like conflict so I didn’t want to break it off. And I was so insecure that I didn’t think I would ever find someone else that would want to marry me. I know it sounds crazy but my insecurities stemmed from the way he talked to me.
He used to tell me that if I got fat, he would leave me. At this time I was super lean and fit from strength training and running track in high school. I so desperately wanted to make it work between the two of us that I ignored this and other disrespectful things he would say to me. So, I kept working out and stayed lean and fit. For him. Not for me.
A few years later, he decided to end things and I was devastated. He said he didn’t want to get married. I knew we were too young and he wasn’t the right guy for me. Even so, I felt rejected by a guy that I didn’t even want to be with. I was an emotional mess and I allowed it to affect my education. My grades started to slip in college and I didn’t know how to move forward. I started partying with my girlfriends to have fun, but mostly to mask the pain I was going through.
As I started to move on thanks to the support of my family and friends, I began heal as I shifted my focus to figuring out what I wanted in my life. I started dating again and taking things slow. I was on a date with a guy who was so sweet and good looking who I had met though a friend (my ex’s sister). It was going well until he told me my ex married another woman. Oh, and I found this out right before we saw Sweet Home Alabama in the theater. I had to leave the theater during the proposal scene at Tiffany’s. All the feelings of hurt came flooding back to me that night.
It was just like the scene in When Harry Met Sally when Sally finds out that her ex is getting married. I felt the exact same way. I didn’t want to marry him but couldn’t understand why he said he didn’t want to get married and then married someone else. I felt like there was something wrong with me. I was allowing him to control my feelings even though we weren’t together any longer.
My Struggle and the Solution
Fast forward to my mid twenties. My clothes were a little snug, my self-confidence took a nose dive, and I was depressed eating way too much processed and fast food in addition to drinking on the weekends. I got to a point where I was so uncomfortable (literally and figuratively) in my own skin that I knew I needed to change my eating habits. While I was able to shed some weight by eating less calories and low-fat I quickly learned that it wasn’t sustainable.
It wasn’t until I met my husband when I was 31 that I learned how to eat mostly whole foods (there’s some wiggle room for the sweet treats I love!) and train my body to burn fat efficiently. During this time not only did I lose fat, I learned how to accept my body at the weight it was the healthiest. Let’s be real, accepting your body as-is is not easy to do as a woman with our current society and social media. I’m living proof that it can be done. While I still struggle at times even now, it’s much easier for me to overcome any negative self-talk about my body. It’s a skill I’ve learned over the years that I’m still mastering.
The Decision that Changed My Life
Deciding that I am worth the effort and investment in my physical and mental health has changed my life for the better. I now stay healthy and fit for myself and no one else. Yes, I want to be healthy to go on adventures with my hubby but that’s all part of my personal values. It just so happens that it aligns with my hubby’s personal values as well. This decision has also taught me to love and respect myself for who I am as a woman. To take my strengths and use them to maintain nutrition, fitness, and rest habits that work for me and my lifestyle.
This decision has helped me embrace the faint wrinkles that are starting to appear around my eyes, cellulite on my legs that will never go away no matter how many squats and lunges I do, mistakes I make in my life, and insecurities that still pop up every now and then. I wake up most days feeling empowered and confident that I can accomplish my life missions.
Remind yourself every single day that you are capable of saying yes to the foods that give you energy, help you sleep, and build lean muscle and strong bones. You do have the ability to complete multiple strength training sessions every week. You are in tune with your body to know when it needs rest. Doing all these things for YOU and no one else is the secret to sustainable healthy habit success.